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Exclusive Interview, Blu-Ray Speaks!
By Richard Windsor | August 17, 2006
Recently I got to sit down and chat with a Blu-Ray disc. He wanted to do an interview in order to clear up all the nasty rumors surrounding him and his friends. Blu-Ray, or B-Ray as he asked me to call him wanted to let people know that he is the future, and that HD-DVD has waged a political mud slinging campaign in order to bring him and his father (Sony) down.
AEROPAUSE: Critics say that we don’t need you in order to enjoy our next generation games. What are your thoughts about that?
B-Ray: What I would say to my critics is 50GB baby! I have the capacity to last a long time and I am more then worth the price. I may be more expensive but I feel that I am worth it!
AEROPAUSE: People would point out that massive games such as Oblivion, which fits on a standard DVD would prove that you aren’t needed for next-gen games. Have you played Oblivion and do you think that you are necessary for games to advance?
B-Ray: The answer is yes! I was at a BBQ with my homeboy Hideo Kojima yesterday. He said that MGS4 would fit easily onto a DVD, but he wanted to put in about 40 hours of cut scenes. Kojima will need me in order to make that game successful. I see this happening a lot. Game designers will want long elaborate cut scenes in their games, because games are all about the cut scenes, and as far as Oblivion goes, I don’t care much for RPG’s.
AEROPAUSE: Your biggest critic is HD-DVD. Have the two of you talked? Do you both laugh at all the controversy or is there really a feud between you two?
B-Ray: In the beginning HD-DVD and I had a good relationship. We talked quite often, we even had each other over for party’s every now and then, but one day I saw HD-DVD on stage with Bill Gates, and he was insulting my family, calling them not necessary! I choked back my tears, and from then on I never talked to HD-DVD again. When I think what he put my family through I still get choked up. My kids come home from school crying “ PAPA, they called us unnecessary and too expensive” As far as I am concerned HD-DVD is dead to me.
AEROPAUSE: Many people claim that they are happy with DVD’s and think it’s too soon for a new standard to emerge. If you fail, what plans do you have?
B-Ray: I really do not have a back up plan right now. I dropped out of high school, so I would need to get my GED right away. In the long run I see myself running the family business. My grandfather was a betamax player so I might go work with him.
AEROPAUSE: Are you aware betamax died many many years ago!
B-Ray: WHAT! GRANDPAPA, Dad said he went to Florida to take it easy! (Blu-Ray sobs for about a half hour and asks to call his brother UMD, Blu-Ray then sobs quietly in the corner for another hour. He composes himself and we continue the interview.)
AEROPAUSE: Your dad has put a lot of money behind you, and he is counting on you to sell a lot of PS3’s. Do you feel nervous at all, or are you confident that people will embrace you with open arms?
B-Ray: Anytime our family gives birth to a new baby there will be growing pains, but I am sure with all the gamers out there wanting a system to play HD movies that my future is quite secure. It’s not like my dad would just stick me in there for no reason, right!
AEROPAUSE: So far many people have said that HD-DVD produces a better picture and therefore should be the standard we adopt. Have you seen HD-DVD’s picture quality yet, and is it really better then yours?
B-Ray: One time when we were young, HD-DVD and I played “Show Me Yours and I will Show You Mine” We got caught and we never tried it again, but what I saw was impressive, but I think mine is just as good! That moment scarred me for life. If that would not have happened I would have had a much higher capacity.
AEROPAUSE: Another criticism that HD-DVD keeps bringing up is your speed. HD-DVD says you are to slow for games and that you lack good compression. How do you respond to that?
B-Ray: In high school I tore my Achilles tendon. I was trying to show a girl how fast I could spin and I hit the wall and fell down. I had years of physical therapy and I feel that I am back at full speed now so HD-DVD can suck it! B-Ray is in the hiz-ouse!
AEROPAUSE: It will most likely take many years to decide who will win this war. What would you like to say to all the people who still don’t think that you are worth the investment?
B-Ray: I was brought into this world to do one thing, and that is to entertain the masses. I don’t want to sound conceded, but I think that I am the future of entertainment and I ask that people see past the partisan politics put forth by my contender HD-DVD, and embrace me as the dawn of a new gaming generation, because my daddy said so!
AEROPAUSE: Any final words for anybody out there?
B-Ray: Hey, HD-DVD, on November 17th you are my bitch! This one is for Grandpapa!
I would like to thank B-Ray for all his time. He had to get back to the lab, it seems that he still has a few bugs to work out. I attempted to contact HD-DVD in order to verify B-Ray’s claims, but I kept getting his answering machine. If I do make contact I will make sure and do a full interview with him and post it here.
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Comment by Tommy — August 18, 2006 @ 12:14 am
Awesome, I just hope the Sony Fanboys don’t take it to seriously!
Comment by BikerMan — August 18, 2006 @ 12:29 am
Yeah that was pretty funny, nice to see someone who doesn’t take the format war too seriously. I think anomymous might be a fanboy, sshhh don’t tell anyone!
Comment by William Baker — August 18, 2006 @ 12:33 am
LOL wow that was awesome and funny. People need to stop taking stuff so seriously.
Comment by Anonymous — August 18, 2006 @ 12:35 am
That was pathetic.
Comment by ash — August 18, 2006 @ 3:52 am
Funny! And it’s not a surprise to see anonymous people complaining about it either.
Comment by Karsten — August 18, 2006 @ 4:27 am
Friggin’ hilarious! You should do more of this ‘nerd fiction’
Comment by Tanya — August 18, 2006 @ 8:02 am
OMFG, That was hilarious!
Comment by GETRDONE — August 18, 2006 @ 8:15 am
I don’t care what ya’ll say thats funny righy there!
Comment by Richard — August 18, 2006 @ 8:16 am
Nerd Fiction, HMMMMM I like that!
Comment by Dan The Man — August 18, 2006 @ 9:33 am
LOL LOL LOL I needed that!
Comment by Lothar — August 18, 2006 @ 9:39 am
LOL
Thats some great creative writing.
Comment by T-boje — August 18, 2006 @ 10:51 am
I think somehow that this is actually what the Blu-Ray would say if it could speak.
Comment by red — August 18, 2006 @ 3:43 pm
why must people always reference betamax when speaking of bluray. Has everyone forgotten that Sony co developed cd and dvd. FYI the ps3 also plays sacd. you know sonys proposed sucessor of the cd. And if it doesnt catch on it cant be a bad thing to have in there. Thats why I dont understand why so many people complain about the ps3 having bluray its cleary better than dvd and backwards compatible so how can it be a bad thing. Im also tired of people saying that sony is shoving bluray down their throat. IF YOU DONT WANT IT DONT BUY IT. if you cant afford it you should be mad at yourself before Sony. I mean thats like being mad at lamborgini because they didnt make the diablo in your price range. I can understand someone being dissapointed but it cost what it cost. its not like sonys making gobs of money by selling the hardware. I just thought Id throw that out there.
Comment by Buck — August 18, 2006 @ 4:30 pm
Damn Red calm down. I think its meant to be a joke. Get a life dude!
Comment by Randy — August 18, 2006 @ 7:00 pm
Please tell me you are going to interview HD-DVD, we have to have a second part!
Comment by Paul — August 18, 2006 @ 7:17 pm
The difference between Sony and Lamborgini is that Sony wants everyone to buy the PS3 while Lamborgini doesn’t really even have a care if you buy a Diablo. Blizzard has that in hand well enough, though.
Comment by jr — August 18, 2006 @ 8:18 pm
Im sure lambergini wouldnt mind if the diablo sold as well as the ps2 or possibly the upcoming ps3.
Comment by james — August 18, 2006 @ 8:24 pm
While Red does get a little off topic and sounds a little too intense he does makre some valid points as far as the ps3 not being a rip off and actualy a good deal.
Comment by Toby — August 18, 2006 @ 11:08 pm
A good deal! are you blind james? PS3 is a good deal for what you get but it is a piss poor deal for a gamer. Blu-Ray should have been optional, pisssing away the casual market is going to decrease their marketshare by at least 25%. They are launching with almost no games worth 600. I eventually will get one but right now it is in no way a good deal for a gamer. Don’t believe that hype man, dont be stupid!
Comment by Ben Hobbs — August 19, 2006 @ 4:02 am
Very funny, BTW red - Sony didn’t invent CD or DVD, CD was taken to the Public by Philips who also took on the administrative role of rolling out DVD’s (which was a collaberation of Hitachi, JVC, Matsushita, Mitsubishi, Philips, Pioneer, Sony, Thomson, Time Warner, and Toshiba).
Comment by Red — August 19, 2006 @ 10:01 am
I did not say they invented it I sayed they co developed it wich they did look it up on wikipedia
Comment by Red — August 19, 2006 @ 10:22 am
Toby, most casual gamers are just that, CASUAL. They do things other than gaming wich is why sony added more nongaming features. The average jo only uses their computer for the internet and word prossesing. The ps3 has an in house browser and with linux will probably have a word prosceser. so for many it can replace a 300 dollar pc 400 xbox360 and 500/1000 next gen dvd player. Like I said if you cant aford it dont buy it. Sonys just doing what theyve always been doing with the playstation, adding more bonus features apart from top of the line gaming and by doing so have expanded the market. They added cd playback to the ps1, dvd plaback to the ps2 and now bluray a webrowser and mp4 / mp3/image plaback off of the hdd to the ps3. Regardless of what you may think, a new format is definately nessesary. Blurays 50 gigs may not be filled up at first but the 9 gig limit of dvd will deffinately be exceded with the first batch of ps3 games. Take a look at history and youll see that most systems use new formats. Every system that has won a console war used a new format its not a new concept.
PS sorry for sounding like Jim Rome.
Comment by James — August 19, 2006 @ 11:15 am
At Toby, There wont be any games worth 600 bucks at launch nor have there ever been any single games worth 600 bucks on any system ever. You dont pay 600 bucks for one single game you pay 600/500 bucks for the ability to play over 10000 ps1/2 games and probably thousands of region free ps3 games. if thats not enough you can webrowse, watch dvd movies, watch bluray movies, watch mp4s listen to cds,listen to mp3s/atracs,view photos,download free software/media off of limewire for linux, type papers using linux, and more. You are not going to buy your ps3 for one game youre going to play several and youll probably enloy some of the other features sony has packed into the ps3 as well.
Comment by Rick — August 19, 2006 @ 11:26 am
Well while we are on the subject, I heard somewhere that sony was going to preinstall some movies or trailers and game demos and music on the ps3. If true it would be pretty cool and would show off what the ps3 can do.
Comment by trae — August 19, 2006 @ 11:31 am
I heard that to, and I also heard that they might pack in a free bluray movie of spiderman or hitch or one of their movies. hopefuly it will be action packed.
Comment by matt — August 19, 2006 @ 11:32 am
I wouldnt thought it, they did it for the psp.
Comment by j — August 19, 2006 @ 3:32 pm
good one, i hope HD-DVD answers your call in the near future. i’d like to see what he has to say
Comment by Richard — August 19, 2006 @ 6:32 pm
I have just made contact with HD-DVD reps. They say he will be availible next week!
Comment by thisone'sforpapa — August 20, 2006 @ 3:43 am
average joe would be looking at the blu-ray in cartridges u posted and go “what is that?”. Otherwise, a good laugh.
(if confusing, since blu-ray won’t be using cartridges…)
Comment by Josh — August 20, 2006 @ 9:19 am
These console wars have been bringing me down, thanks for the lift!
Comment by ExTester — August 23, 2006 @ 7:35 pm
This is the lamest thing I have ever read.
Comment by Hugh — August 23, 2006 @ 8:18 pm
No you are the lamest person ever to read it! I smell fanboy!
Comment by el moco — August 23, 2006 @ 8:34 pm
ha. that was pretty funny, since the ps3 will get bodyslammed by the xboxwii60.
it’ll be funny to watch sony crash and burn….
Comment by UMMMMM — August 24, 2006 @ 5:11 pm
NICE ARTICLE MAN!
Comment by BLURAYSUXRIDJRASSERR!!!!1 — August 27, 2006 @ 3:44 pm
DOOOD THAT’S HILKARIOSU!!! HAHAHA SONYS SO GAY!!!! BLURAY IS FOR FAGS!!!
Comment by billy-bob — September 6, 2006 @ 2:49 pm
Hmm, looks like PS3 isn’t the only console to have idiotic, barely literate fanboys…
Comment by metAlAries — September 26, 2006 @ 4:26 am
Love the article its funny.
Look the PS3 is expensive for one reason if you want to watch Blue-ray DVD you will need to hook it up to an HDMI TV. Period. Why, because all DVD have copy protection and if you don’t use HDMI you’ll get an ERROR message. So there goes your crap shot about watching Blue-ray DVD on a regular tv.
Comment by (insert name here) — October 10, 2006 @ 4:49 am
w00t, that article was very enjoyable, as for the ps3, u are getting a sh*tload for 600$, heck the 500$ one has the same power. Blue ray players are running at 1000 bucks, while you get the same thing plus an amazing gaming system and some pc abilities such as searching the web. the PS3 is a very powerful machine worth 600$ or 500$, but is still very expensive if you already have the 360 and a good computer, as for me, i’m thinkin christmas