Tiny Diggers – An iPad Construction Truck Game for Kids Age 2-5

Most of this week’s DC Universe Online update is beefy and welcome. A full-on Catwoman-themed episode with multiple boss fights and ending cutscene. An auction house for players to exchange gear. A Duo fight against Bane and a second Batcave Raid.

But then there’s the seasonal “Love is a Battlefield” content. More like “Love is a Crapperfield.”

I get that there’s somewhat of an MMO tradition of doing silly, stupid seasonal holiday updates. My Night Elf has a Santa hat, ha ha. But it would be great if the seasonal content actually worked. And even better if it was still consistent with the gameworld.

The capsule description states the case thusly: “The battles between Wonder Woman and Circe have disrupted the magical balance, upsetting the Goddess of Love. Fountains have sprung up across Metropolis allowing players to enter the cherub shadow realm, where – as cherubs – they can celebrate and fight to determine the true meaning of love.”

Which is fine. As a longtime DC reader, this concept is not beyond the pale.

What sucks is that “cherub shadow realm” is simply just a normal Metropolis with floating purple hearts and everyone’s avatar turned into a cherub (ugly fat toughs for boys and slender anime babes for girls). I was expecting some kind of fluffy cloud world. BUT WHATEVER, I get it, math is tough. It’s the gameplay where things really fall off the map. Cherub Shadow Realm has the usual assortment of Collect X and Kill X missions, a new multiplayer flying race, and this awful, terrible jumping puzzle thing where you’re expected to collect giant hearts. That doesn’t work. You stand on a jump pad so it launches you into the sky, and while you’re supposed to aim yourself so as to sail through the hearts and land on the next jump pad, it is a right royal bitch to do so. You’re fighting controls and a camera that simply were not meant for a 2002 Ratchet & Clank platforming sequence.

And then you’ll hit a heart square on, and you won’t get credit for it. B.S.

Usually, the /shout chat box is pretty quiet. Just requests from people looking to group up on some tough mission. When I was in the cherub thing, the /shout box curse filter was working overtime. Players were bamboozled and thunderstruck by the sheer nonsense of it all. “WTF IS THIS ****” “SPENT 30 MINUTES ON THIS HEART CRAP AND IT ONLY SAYS I HAVE 3 HEARTS” “WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING”

Also note that neither Wonder Woman nor Circe appear during this sequence. Good for them.

There is a new instance as part of the Love Battlefield, where you are warped to Aphrodite’s secret love arena… so you do get to see something other than ugly cherubs all over the normal Metropolis streets. But overall, this Valentine’s Day content is not a barnburner. Also, Valentine’s Day was a week ago.

Like I said, the other parts of update are welcome additions. Let’s focus on that. And less on cheesy, gimmicky holiday fare.

SONY ONLINE ENTERTAINMENT RELEASES FIRST GAME UPDATE FOR DC UNIVERSE ONLINE

WHAT: The first game update for DC Universe Online (DCUO), which debuted just over a month ago on January 11th, is now available. DC Universe Online allows players to step into the DC Universe™, create their own super hero or villain, and join forces to fight alongside or against their favorite DC icons such as Superman, Batman and The Joker to aid in saving – or destroying – the Universe.

This game update offers something uniquely suited for players of all levels and types, from the newest players to group combat fans, as well as those looking for the ultimate combat challenge in high-level encounters set in legendary locations like the Batcave. The content update is available as a free download for all active DC Universe Online accounts, both for PC and PlayStation® 3 Computer Entertainment System.

The first game update for DCUO includes:

CHARACTER OF THE MONTH: CATWOMAN
Catwoman Episode: Race across the rooftops of Gotham City as Catwoman tries to rob the Gotham Museum. In the storage vault, she unearths ancient Egyptian cat artifacts, turning security guards and innocent bystanders into lions, tigers, cheetahs and more. This episode features five boss battles, countless cats, and culminates in Catwoman themed cut scene.
Legends PvP: Catwoman is now a playable character in Legends “Play as Iconic” PvP mode
Multiplayer Race: Chase Catwoman across the rooftops of Gotham City with friends
A New Suit of Armor: Collect Ancient Mayan Armor and Cat Burglar gear

SEASONAL CONTENT: “LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD”
The battles between Wonder Woman and Circe have disrupted the magical balance, upsetting the Goddess of Love. Fountains have sprung up across Metropolis allowing players to enter the cherub shadow realm, where – as cherubs – they can celebrate and fight to determine the true meaning of love.
Collect Hearts: Earn hearts through PvP, shoot love arrows at citizens, participate in multiplayer races, and dominate the platformer bounce houses to earn hearts. Players can use them to purchase chocolates, gifts, rings, etc. for other players
PvP Battles: Fight to dunk the other team into the fountain
Battle The Goddess of Love: Battle for the definition of love in this 4-player boss fight against the aspects of the Goddess of Love, Devotion and Scorn
New Appearance Items: Earn a harlequin clown suit with hearts and a Cherub disguise
Be Mine: Replay boss battles and try to get them to “be mine”

ADDITIONAL UPDATES
Bane Duo: Two-player battle against the villain
Open World PvP: New Gotham PvP zone
Batcave 2 Raid: New 8-player raid zone added to Batcave, where players will fight alongside Batman against Brainiac and Brother Eye
Broker: Players can visit the auction houses in the Watchtower or the Hall of Doom to swap gear with each other to get their hero or villain completely tricked out
New collections, races and investigations

WHEN: The game update is now available for free download.

For more information about DC Universe Online, visit www.DCUniverseOnline.com.