Review: Dragon Ball Z – Ultimate Tenkaichi (PS3)

Issue #251 kicks off 2010 with 50 pages of Wii/DS previews, fronted by my personal Really? People Liked That? game-of-the-year, NBA Jam. I know it’s early to award that title, but good weblogs aren’t made by writers placing safe bets, AM I RITE. So get on fire and read-a-long!

Issue #251, February 2010
featuring NBA Jam (Wii), Ghost Trick (DS), Lord of the Rings: Aragorn’s Quest (Wii), Epic Mickey (Wii), Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey (DS)

I’m sorry, but the new NBA Jam looks ridiculous. The visual gimmick involves pasting real life basketball star head 2D cut-outs over 3D bodies. Yes, I fully understand that the goofy style is intentional, even appropriate given the series’ pedigree of outlandish arcade action, but that still doesn’t help these screenshots from looking like a bunch of lousy Photoshops. We’re really going to need to see this one in motion to get it.

The article says each player will have seven faces, clipped out of actual court action shots. Doesn’t seem like enough to me. Every dunk replay is going to look like this:

Kobe! Eyes on the ball, not the cheerleaders!

Why NBA Jam in 2010? Creative Director Trey Smith puts points on the board when he says “We know people aren’t going to Wii for their simulation sports titles.” Even as a non-sports fan, I made an “ooooh” face when I read that one.

NP pulls their usual bit where they pretend to be skeptical about the game’s motion controls, delineate every possible gesture map in painful detail, and then announce at the end that the waggle is “extremely responsive and intuitive.” I bet I can find the exact same story arc during their Avatar preview.

There are very strong hints that the new NBA Jam with uphold the series tradition of including hidden (often political) playable team members. And yes, we are all expected to start saying “boomshakalaka” again, as if we never stopped.

Like I said, this is one game where a bunch of static screenshots are not going to sell it. I can hear mouthbreathing HD fanboys copy/pasting these screens into their WII SUX forum posts right now. We’re going to need to see movement and gameplay to determine if the hokey charm comes off in the final product. EA Sports has the game booked for a fall 2010 release.

Check out this great gag:

Now you’re leveraging the inherent advantages of print media with power.

I present to you the next ten mature-themed Wii games that will be overlooked, undersold and outright ignored in 2010.

• No More Heroes: Desperate Struggle (January)
• Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon (March)
• Red Steel 2 (March)
• Calling (Spring)
• Trauma Team (Spring)
• Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love (Spring)
• Lost in Shadow (Summer)
• The Grinder (TBD)
• Sin and Punishment 2 (TBD)
• Monado: Beginning of the World (TBD)

I’m not saying these are bad games. I’m not saying these are good games. I’m saying that, for better or for worse, New Super Mario Bros Wii will outsell all of them combined. Lately it seems like the vast majority of Wii owners show up for one, maybe two games a year… and those titles above have no chance of being on that sales receipt. Even those that deserve it.

And by the way, every fiber in my body is telling me to add Metroid: Other M to that list. Nintendo has a long hard road to elevate Metroid Anything into the top sellers category.

Shadow the Hedgehog fan is into Shadow the Hedgehog

In case you think I’ve been too hard on Nintendo lately, with all my complaints about a lackluster first-party lineup since Fall 2008, here it is in Nintendo Power’s own words:

Boomshakalaka.

Download Staff Picks: Tales of Monkey Island 4 (WiiWare), Cave Story (WiiWare), Blaster Master (NES), Super Mario Kart (SNES)

Top scoring Wii review: Tatsunoko vs Capcom: Ultimate All-Stars, 9.0 (all scores out of 10)
Top scoring DS review: Bejeweled Twist, 8.5
Lowest rated Wii review: Pinball Hall of Fame: The Gottlieb Collection, 6.5
Lowest rated DS review: Glory of Heracles, 7.0

There was only four reviews this month!

I am THIS CLOSE to being interested – Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing will feature kart tracks based on Sonic, Billy Hatcher, House of the Dead and Super Monkey Ball (among others, I’m sure.) The game will support multiple controller schemes, but NP does not mention if that includes the GameCube controller.

You’re confusing popularity with relative rarity – Reader Cynthia sent in a picture of her husband in a Mario costume at Disney World, claiming he was “more popular than the Disney characters.” As soon as people start paying this couple $100+ to hang out for a day, I’ll believe it.

Factory surplus passes the savings on to you – Nintendo releases pink and blue Wii Remotes on February 14. Just like last fall’s black Remote, these pastel beauts will come with the MotionPlus plug. Unlike the black bundle, the MotionPlus will be white and the controller jacket will be transparent. Which makes the whole assembly look more like a condom than ever.

And I thought the Great Fairy was creepy before – NP profiles Jennifer Howard, a cosplayer with some great Nintendo-themed costumes in her arsenal. She doesn’t own a sewing machine!

So it begins – The Artoon-developed, Nintendo-published Span Smasher will REQUIRE MotionPlus. It also includes an “adorable piece of living fruit.”

Collector alert – This issue includes a trading card for Tatsunoko vs Capcom, attached to an ad that promises more cards available at GameStop with your preorder.

Me too! – Warren Spector, despite being well into Epic Mickey, says his favorite Disney character is Scrooge McDuck.

The Professor would be sorely disappointed – Lord of the Rings: Aragorn’s Quest will allow two player co-op by way of jumping Gandalf in for P2, regardless of whether Gandalf was involved in that part of the story or not.

I love interview tidbits like this – Shu Takumi, of Ace Attorney and the upcoming Ghost Trick, on the spirit world: “Actually, I don’t have any real interest in the occult or in supernatural phenomenon, nor do I really know much about those types of things.”

Next month in Nintendo Power… one big headline feature: Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver!