Review: Dragon Ball Z – Ultimate Tenkaichi (PS3)

I have a handful of NES games I’ve collected over the years beyond the three Castlevania games. Let’s see… there’s Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers, Gyruss, The Immortal, Legacy of the Wizard, The Magic of Scheherazade, Metroid, and Solstice. All these games are complete in their boxes. One thing NES game boxes were always good for was a solid laugh. I always thought the Castlevania games had some of the funniest text on the back, but here’s one that may be the best I’ve seen.

This is the back of the box for the NES port of the Konami arcade game Gyruss. I love Gyruss, but it never occurred to me that the game had anything to do with Genghis Khan. Oh, how wrong I was.

Khan! KHAAAAN!

GYRUSS

300 Billion People Are Counting On You – So Don’t Choke!

It’s A.D. 2500 and mankind has penetrated the galaxy’s fringes, establishing colonies of peace from Mercury to Pluto.

Suddenly, the tranquility of the Milky Way erupts into a frothing fury as armadas of alien deathships swarm into our solar system like killer bees preying on an innocent bystander. No one is spared. Even beloved Mother Earth is stung.

These vicious cosmic Visigoths are war starved Gyrusians. And, led by the immortal Genghis Khan (whom they recruited from Mongolia centuries ago), they’re out to trash civilization.

With our galactic fleet flattened, you’re the lone space cowboy who escaped the Gyruss shroud of doom. Now you must scorch through the galaxy, freeing planets by zapping endless enemy attacks with Neo-Bomb-Blastic Cannons and Ultra-Lazonic Phasers.

So prepare for the fight of your life. And don’t flinch, or the entire universe will get pulverized!

For 1 player.