Jeez, what an ugly cover. A lousy boxed artwork montage over an eye-searing orange. Looks like somebody was on a tight deadline. I also question the text block that says “Reviews Blowout!” and then lists a pile of games that appear in preview only (or in paragraph only, like the tease for Mario & Luigi RPG 3).

We should also point out that this is the thirteenth issue of the year, as the mag now does twelve monthlies plus a special holiday issue. So read-a-long!

Issue #236, Holiday 2008
featuring Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64 retrospective), Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure (DS)

First of all, as if you needed any written proof that Nintendo is readying another Legend of Zelda game, NP slips in that producer Eiji Aonuma is in fact working on the next one.

The five page Ocarina of Time interview with Aonuma contains few surprises, but it does remind readers of all the innovations found in the 1998 N64 classic. The lock-on Z-targeting is brought up multiple times, but the article also mentions the horseback riding, playing the ocarina instead of simply using it, the mostly-human form of Ganondorf, and the general 3D improvements that the Ocarina team worked on in the wake of Mario 64.

Far more pages are spent on a Tokyo Game Show 2008 roundup, throwing a spotlight on such titles as Klonoa: Door to Phantomile (Wii), Tenchu 4: Art of the Ninja (Wii), Muramasa: The Demon Blade (Wii), Phantasy Star 0 (DS), a new third-person Ace Attorney (DS), and Cooking Mama franchise expansion piece Gardening Mama (DS). And you can’t overlook – or pronounce – the Chocobo Tales DS sequel Chocobo To Mahou No Ehon: Majo To Shoujo To Gonin No Yuusha.

One of Madworld’s attack animations apparently involves shoving “a trumpet where the sun don’t shine, leaving the unfortunate fellow to stagger around as he inadvertently toots the horn.” If you whiny anti-Wii-Wii-owning punks do not rush out and buy Madworld on Day One, you will forever be labeled blind-ass hypocrites and all future complaints about the Wii library shall be declared inadmissible.

Probably the single most bizarre game to come out of TGS 08, Let’s Tap, is briefly brought up. I get the feeling that Yuji Naka just hasn’t doped out enough gameplay for this one yet… or there’s simply a limited amount you can do with a game that makes you tap on a cardboard box. I do like the trapped-Remote setup they had at the demo kiosks:

Another page with Suda51, another interview with no mention of Fatal Frame 4. This time, it’s all about No More Heroes: Desperate Struggle, which, contrary to one of the stupidest internet rumors I’ve heard in years, will NOT be a DS game. Suda is fairly tight-lipped about Desperate Struggle (he is writing it, but not directing it)… instead tossing out silly answers to stupid questions like How Do You Relax (Burnout Paradise), Who is Your Favorite Wrestler (Bruiser Brody), and Do You Think Grasshopper Manufacture Could Get Too Big (Yes).

The NP crew also reports that the Sony/Capcom CG film Resident Evil: Degeneration is really terrible.

Is anybody talking about this crazy new Crystal Chronicles game? Seriously, this is nuts. Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Echoes of Time will be the first game to allow simultaneous cross-platform play across the Wii and DS versions. It sounds like the Wii version will essentially be a port of the DS title, “splitting [the two DS screens] horizontally across your TV.” Weird!

The screenshot shows the in-game characters sporting cheap Mii masks, which may be a feature exclusive to Wii. Other than that, your only choice between the two editions will be if you want your Crystal Chronicles to be portable or not. I wonder how these will price out…

Shop Channel Staff Picks: Secret of Mana (SNES)

Top scoring Wii review: Guitar Hero World Tour, 8.5 (all scores out of 10)
Top scoring DS review: Chrono Trigger, 9.0
Lowest rated Wii review: Star Wars: Clone Wars: Lightsaber Duels, 4.0
Lowest rated DS review: WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2009, 4.0

Other notable Wii scores include Animal Crossing City Folk, Sonic Unleashed, Mushroom Men: Spore Wars and WWE 2009 all at 8.0, Castlevania Judgment at 7.0, Spider-Man: Web of Shadows at 6.5, and Rayman Raving Rabbids TV Party at 5.5.

And hey Eidos, you can’t squash a print review! Nintendo Power gave Tomb Raider Underworld a sub-8 score of 7.0.

On the DS side, Mushroom Men: Rise of the Fungi got 5.0, Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia hit 8.0, and Moon – a sci-fi FPS from the makers of Dementium: The Ward got a 7.5.

The Crying Frog: Somebody in the letter column rises to the defense of gaming girls, citing that some of his favorite video game characters are girls, like Samus and… Slippy. The NP editors give the kid the bad news.

Oh yeah, that’s comparable: When Rock Band 2 arrives on Wii, you’ll get “the full Rock Band experience” with “everything the Xbox 360 and PS3 versions have.” Including an incredible 30 downloadable songs available at launch. Uh-huh.

Max and PJ would be proud: Prior to Resident Evil 4, series creator Shinji Mikami’s favorite production was Goof Troop for the SNES.

Please let this be good: Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers will have a splitscreen mode for local multiplayer. Nintendo Power tries desperately (because they know I’m reading) to find something good to say about this one, and all they can come up with is that the two playable characters have different attacks.

The DS is king of RPGs: Another fun-sounding RPG is on its way, My World, My Way for DS spotlights a spoiled princess who battles her way through traditional RPG tropes by whining and pouting. You have to increase her selfish stats in order to beat enemies and complete quests.

In my opinion, the DS has become a forgotten system by US gamers as the library gets overrun with licensed garbage and Petz titles, so it’s cool to see that incredible userbase still being leveraged for bizarre concept titles like this one.

Will Little Mac be black? I’m basing this on a single screenshot, but the character icon in the top left corner seems to give prizefighter Little Mac a darker skin tone. Couple answers here… either the new Punch-Out!! game for Wii will allow you to make your own Mac, or I’m comparing his tanned look to the decidedly pale Glass Joe, or Little Mac is genuinely on his way to becoming Nintendo’s first African-American lead character. Judge for yourself:

Next month in Nintendo Power… we return to a regular monthly schedule with the 2009 preview January issue, promising coverage of The Conduit, Wii Sports Resort, Major Minor’s Majestic March, and, ahem, Sonic and the Black Knight.