Castlevania’s localization is a cesspit of hatred and lies

By Stephen Munn | October 6, 2008

I’ve mentioned Konami’s localization woes in the past. What makes the issue so tragic is the high level of quality in the games themselves. Perhaps some of the money they spend on Hideo Kojima could go toward localizing their games with something other than a special needs 12 year old fueled by pixy stix. I’m trying to be serious, but it’s just not working, because that just isn’t me.

Most of the localization problems are in the end credits. The titles of those who spent so much time working on the title are often spelled incorrectly. Letters are transposed all over the place. You know, these are all careless errors. If I spotted them reading credits that are generally just a list of Japanese names, anyone at Konami could have.

Worst of all is the new recorded dialog. It’s clear they spent a lot of time trying to figure out how best to translate the famous exchange between Richter Belmont and Dracula which is best known to Anglophones by the famously terrible line, “What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets!” This conversation takes place at the end of Rondo of Blood and the beginning of Symphony of the Night, as the two games share a stage as a kind of memory refresher. The voice acting is improved, but the translation is really no better than the original Symphony of the Night’s. Well, maybe it’s a little better. The copy of Symphony of the Night in Dracula X Chronicles is supposed to have the new voices, but I haven’t played it yet.

Before:

Richter: Die monster. You don’t belong in this world!

Dracula: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute.

Richter: Tribute!?! You steal men’s souls and make them your slaves!

Dracula: Perhaps the same could be said of all religions…

Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!

Dracula: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk… Have at you!

After:

Dracula: Belmont. Son of Belmont. I’ve been waiting for you.

Richter: Dracula. Die now, and leave this world. You’ll never belong here!

Dracula: Oh, but this world invited me. Your own kind called me forth with praise and tribute.

Richter: Tribute? You’re a thief. You steal men’s souls, their freedom…

Dracula: Freedom is always sacrified to faith, good hunter. Or are you truly here by choice?

Richter: All I’m here for is you. To hell with your heresy! You’re nothing but a blight on mankind.

Dracula: Ha! Mankind. A cesspit of hatred and lies. Fight for them then, and die for their sins.