Hilarious “UnNews” Hylian news articles could tip you over

By Stephen Munn | September 21, 2008

Another entertaining story via StumbleUpon. A division of Wikipedia spoof Uncyclopedia I was previously unaware of, UnNews, has articles on it of (naturally, fictional) news stories from Hyrule, the land where many of the Legend of Zelda games take place. The article I initially bumped into was one about a warning from the Hyrule Institute of Technology about a disturbance in the space-time continuum, probably caused by time travel in Castle Town, which was the location in Ocarina of Time where Link travelled back and forth seven years through time. A linked article from February 2007 there provided me the most amusement, however.

“He just walked in, smashed the jar, took our rupee savings inside, and split! That jar was a heirloom that had been in my family for over ten generations!”

Link has been arrested for property damage, you see. And the old man has had enough of his bull****. Brilliant stuff that reminds me of this Penny-Arcade strip right here. There’s also a great quote from a Goron police chief who wonders aloud how Link can carry a harpsichord of time around with him along with a giant hammer, grappling device and so much more.

Source: Large Hadron Collider Destroys God by Accident… uh, I mean
Hyrule physicists report quantum fluctuations at UnNews. Image from the same.