Fun with the new features on the Nintendo Channel

By Joe Fourhman | June 16, 2008

If you’ve opted-in for Nintendo’s marketing messages on your Wii, you may have noticed a blue-slot alert about a new feature for the PR-heavy Nintendo Channel. Since the channel launched, users have been able to rate games and submit that info back to Nintendo. But where did all of that praise/rage go? Now we have the answer, as the Nintendo Channel is finally ready to let it all hang out.

Each game now has an Amazon-esque “People Who Liked THIS Also Liked THIS” section, which is a not-so-subtle way to get you thinking about buying games you may not already own. Additionally, games now sport a couple of demographics-based pie charts, illustrating whether a game is casual or hardcore, for gamers or everyone (hey! unfair differentiation! we’re just like everyone else!), and best enjoyed alone or with friends. This data comes from Wii users who have played said game(s) for over an hour, so you can’t buy My Pokemon Ranch, play it for five minutes, and then go vote crap all over it. I looked up Sin & Punishment, an N64 Virtual Console game that I happen to already own…

(more screens and even funnier games after the jump)

I actually ended up despising Sin & Punishment, but I did like those other five games. I guess I’m the odd man out in S&P circles. Here’s the other screen…

Surprise! Wii owners in my age group suggest that Sin & Punishment is a gamer’s game, totally hardcore, and best enjoyed alone. Well, my copy is very alone because I shunted it to an SD card to make room for Smash Brawl screenshots.

How about Splatterhouse?

GUFFAW. People who enjoyed Splatterhouse also enjoyed the heck out of Wii Sports and the Shop Channel.

These pie charts are much the same as for Sin & Punishment, actually.

But that’s what my demographic says. How about girls twelve and under?

Rats. There goes my upcoming niche fetish website, My Barbie Splatterhouse.com.

Since Nintendo allows it, let’s look up the Shop Channel.

Ironically, only one of those games can be purchased through the Shop Channel. Nice to see Okami show up again though. Did anybody actually buy that one this time around?

And as you may have suspected, the Wii Shop Channel is suitable for anyone, completely casual, and best enjoyed ALONE. With your credit card handy.