Tiny Diggers – An iPad Construction Truck Game for Kids Age 2-5

Listen, I’m a blogger. That means two things: people don’t care what I think, and second, that I’ve long ago gotten over the fact that no one cares what I think.

Everyone else is doing awards for best game or best car or best trinket of 2007, so I am too. These were laboriously chosen through a process of me being pissed off at other sites’ awards for a few minutes.

Best Game of 2007

Halo 3

No other game has the stats and saved films that are a staple of the Halo community. Thank you Bungie for being ambitious and actually making metagame stats interesting. They have advanced the science of multiplayer FPS to an art form. Oh, and it also has one of the better stories of the year. Oh, and it has the best single-player gameplay. Yes, it’s better than Bioshock. Yes, it’s better than Call of Duty 4. I don’t care what you think.

Worst Game That Everyone Else Thinks is Best Game of 2007

Mass Effect

The story was not complete garbage, but for supposedly being the future of RPG’s and FPS’s, the game blows chunks. Look, Knights of the Old Republic was good. Even Jade Empire was pretty fun. But Mass Effect is the most shallow sci-fi RPG I’ve played since Knights of the Old Republic II. Oh man, the ads are great. “Oh, poor Noveria, we didn’t go there, so they died and we went to some other planet, and look how epic our choices are.” Bollocks. I’ve played through the game twice now, and I can do these lifeless planet missions in any order I want and the story advanced just as it did the first time. Whatevs.

Also, I’d like to add that Mass Effect feels like a Neverwinter Nights single-player module. A really long, high-quality Neverwinter Nights module, but the thing feels about as coherent as a wet noodle. I want my 20 hours back.

Best Story of 2007

Assassin’s Creed

And let me just say up front, if it wasn’t for “Would you kindly?”, Bioshock’s story would merely be “pretty good” dystopian fare. That was definitely some of the best writing and pacing in a game, but Bioshock loses points in my book for portraying an oversimplified, cliched version of Ayn Rand’s Objectivism. She would be turning in her grave…

I don’t care if no one ever takes me seriously again, Assassin’s Creed has the best story. Period. End of discussion. The storytelling in Assassin’s Creed was topnotch, without relying too much on clich√©. It managed to focus on religious and societal issues without beating you over the head. It allows a player to come to his own conclusions regarding the proper place of faith and reason. Also, Kudos for having historically accurate locales.

Best PS3 Game Even Though I Don’t Own a PS3

Ratchet and Clank

Paul’s arguments about the game were pretty compelling in our podcasts. When I finally get around to buying a PS3, this title will be the first one I pick up. Also, Lair and Heavenly Sword were both completely horrible (And yes, I’ve played them both.)

Best Japanese Game of 2007 That Isn’t an RPG

Zelda Phantom Hourglass

I think everyone already knows why. This is probably the most fun I’ve had with a DS game.

Best Japanese Game of 2007 That Is an RPG

Front Mission

I love this game, and has just about become permanently fused with my DS. I think it was Tycho from Penny Arcade that said if Nintendo only released re-hashes of SNES games on the GBA or DS, it would still be the best platform ever. So true.

Best Company of 2007

Microsoft

For doing a great job of supporting the Xbox 360 with titles and dashboard updates. They also have done a great job of listening to the user base, especially on things like DivX support.

Worst Company of 2007

Microsoft

MS has had a tough year. Red Ring of Death, Xbox Live holiday outages, and bad accessory pricing are but a few of the challenges they’ve given themselves.

Well, that pretty much wraps it up. If you have an issue with something I’ve said, be sure to leave a comment.