I’m sorry I beat you, Mr. Clan Member. I just wanted to come out and apologize. You remember me, don’t you? Saturday night, I joined your room on the Attacking team in Rainbow Six alongside a bunch of no-rank, no-mic strangers and disarmed your bomb. I didn’t do it just once but twice in a row. I’m sorry you felt that forcing all the lower ranked players to the other team would guarantee a win for you.

I know you wanted me to protect your bomb for twenty minutes, fend off your teammates then disarm it at the last possible second. Besides being impossible, this would give every player on each team enough time to pad their stats and make the game “fair.” In the end, your logic is flawed; the amount of points you gain in one 20-minute match pales in comparison to three smaller 5-7 minute matches.

I know you were upset at me because you blasted me with a profanity and kicked me off your server. Normally, when I’m kicked off a server, I simply just forget about it and roll into another, but thanks to your fun little outburst, I haven’t been able to forget it. I’ve had a warm fuzzy feeling in my tummy ever since that game, Mr. Clan Member. I’m so very sorry that you were upset but boy oh boy, hearing you rant sure made my day.

Thanks again!