PS3 Launch Questions Answered!

By James Munn | November 17, 2006

With the PS3’s launch making all the headlines today, you’re undoubtedly hearing from the non-gaming Americans regarding the circus. If any of you are vocal about your love of video games, you’ve probably heard one of the following questions either yesterday or today (unless you’re locked in your basement playing PS3, you filthy bastards!).

If you’re sick of answering the same questions over and over, I’ve compiled some unique responses that you can give your friends or co-workers.

Question 1: “Are you picking up your Playstation today?”

Answer: “Yep, two in fact! All I need now are those three digits on the back of your card and to click, “Place Order”.”
Optional Answer for Men: “Woo yeah, I’m exhausted. I’ve been saving up the money for six months now. The sperm bank won’t return my calls anymore.”

Question 2: “Wow so, I saw those lines this morning on TV. What is it…is it a game?”

Answer: “Yes, it’s the gamest of all games. Game gamest game of gaming gaminess, even. You game?”

Question 3: “Did you hear that people got shot waiting for a Playstation!?”

Answer: “Yes, I was the second gunman on the grassy parking lot island.”
Optional Answer: “They had WMD’s, trust me. I called Rummy and he said I could..”
Optional Answer: “Grand Theft Auto made me do it.”

Question 4: “I’m going to Best Buy during lunch to buy a PS3.”

Answer: “Oh nice! Do me a favor and get me a Holy Grail full of Pepsi and give Sasquatch a kiss on the cheek while you’re there. Thanks!”

Question 5: “My son Bobby wants a PS3 for Christmas, but I can’t find one and don’t know what to tell him?”

Answer: “I’m sorry Bobby, but Santa was shot dead while waiting in line for your PS3, you selfish little bastard. Now no one will have toys for Christmas!”
Answer: “I actually bought one for you, but I put it in the back of the car with your Rubiks Cube and it exploded!!”
Answer: “Sorry Bobby, the paperwork on the second mortgage didn’t go through.”
Answer: “You saw that commercial Bobby, you’re way too stupid for a PS3.”