An Interview With A Cheater

Submitted by Richard Windsor on September 15, 2006 – 6:46 am224 Comments

About 2 weeks ago I popped Halo 2 into my 360 and started playing some Big Team Battle. The very first game I played in I got modded, a.k.a. cheated on, by a guy whom we will refer to as ‘Schmuck5000′. After the game was over I asked him if he would agree to do an interview for Aeropause. At first he thought it was just a joke but I eventually got him to message me his e-mail. I then sent him an e-mail interview to fill out. What is written below is completely unedited from what I received from Schmuck5000. Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors. I thought it was important to show the intelligence of cheaters. I am very surprised that he e-mailed me back the answers. Some of the questions were fairly harsh.

Aeropause: How old are you and where are you from?

Schmuck5000: I am 24 years old and I live in central Texas.

Aeropause: Besides Halo 2 are there any other games at which you cheat?

Schmuck5000: I play BF2 and some Counter Strike. I cheat at both but it‚Äôs hard to get away with in Counter Strike. People who play CS are such babies about that stuff. The other players are just jealous p***ys who wish they had the ability to cheat.

Aeropause: Do you have a girlfriend?

Schmuck5000: What kind of freaking question is that for this kind of interview? How does me having a girlfriend relate to cheating? (AP: We will take that as a NO!)

Aeropause: What made you decide to mod your Xbox to gain an unfair advantage in games like Halo 2?

Schmuck5000: Modding is not an unfair advantage. There is just as much chance that there will be a modder on the other team. I am there to even things out. Halo 2 is beginning to get old, us modders are just making it more funner.

Aeropause: Do you get some kind of good feeling when a game is over and everyone is the room is calling you every cuss word known to man?

Schmuck5000: I tend to ignore those people, they bitch and morn about how I cheated but they could have modded their box just like mine. If you want to start complaining to me them don‚Äôt bother I have better things to do.

Aeropause: How many times have you been banned or suspended from gaming servers?

Schmuck5000: Wow, I have been kicked of XBL at least 10 times, I have to be careful now because there are no more 2 month cards floating around. The people at Bungie are the worst. How can they complain about people like me. They should have built a anti-cheating engine in the game to prevent it. Its not my fault that modders cheat.

Aeropause: Cheaters are mainly made up of people who lack the dexterity to play the game honestly. Did your inability to play the games well in the first place lead you to begin cheating?

Schmuck5000: I can play each and every game I cheat at very well. I will own anyone on the battlefield even without a mod, Believe It ! - (AP: Is that a Naruto reference?)

Aeropause: The rise of online gaming has had its share of hurdles and one of the greatest hurdles is getting rid of cheaters such as yourself. What advice would you give game designers to help discourage cheaters?

Schmuck5000: Give Up! There is no way to stop us. Everyone wants to cheat and we will always find a way to do it. Anyone reading this is simply jealous of the fact that I have enough nuts to cheat and play the game the way I want to.

Aeropause: Everyone online including myself see you as the scum of online gaming. How do you respond to that?

Schmuck5000: Like I give a flying F**k what other gamers think about me. As long as there are games there will be cheaters, why should I stop if no one else does, as far as I see it I am evening out the playing field!

I would like to say thank you to Schmuck5000 for letting us in on how utterly dumb and senseless the mind of a cheater can be. I am sure all our faithful Aeropausians would like to give you some kind messages within our comments section. (Please keep remarks at about a fifth grade level so he can read them, and please be tactful)

Tags: cheater, interview

Rick

Rofl this guys is a f***ing newb. i hope i run into your ass so i can use my one and only hack on u(THE BAN/KICK/DISCONNECT HACK!) i only use this hack in bf2 and css and al it does is kick hackers. so i see it as more of a good hack then a bad hack. Lol and he dont have a girlfrend because after all the aim hacking he uses he cant aim his dick anymore lol. hard one second then soft the next. thats the problem with speed hack neways rofl. thanks for talking all
http://lac.pl/ Lam

You’re all bitching about the guy, but the truth is he’s doing what the software allows him to do. In real world if I don’t close my flat’s door, no insurance company is going to pay me for my stolen furniture and electronics, because it’s my responsibility to protect my property from thieves not using tanks to enter my place.

The same is with computer software. You can’t blame a guy for exploiting the flawed design of a game or hardware it’s being run on. It doesn’t really matter why is he doing it. Fix the client and the server to disallow known cheats, otherwise I’ll just laugh at your face when you call him a loser.
[UF]EvoLutioN@cs1.6

well i don`t like cheaters. But i have to admit i got dod cheat and counterstrike cheat…:=)

But im only using it against cheaters when they have so called”Anti votekick” on, and there is no admins online.

It`s freaking them out and im turning it off when theyre leaving and we have a lot of fun in the servers=)
Alec

I hate cheaters at online gaming. It may be fun with som friends for like 5 min or so, but online for real?

“who wish they had the ability to cheat.” It`s not hard 2 mod or find a cheat! omg..

Well well.. 24 years old and cheat online,… get a life! sucker!
dLX

Damn all cheaters are pussys because they are afraid to face the challenge. And comments like “i beat everyone but cheat to make the game interesting” are just lame excuses for being dumb retards. No offence it’s just my opinion
Doomer

Cheaters have been around since the first true PC games. I remember using cheat codes on old Apple games just because I got stuck or wanted to finally finish the darn game. As time progressed people would use the codes to advance them past spots they could not complete for themselves or past a bug in a game so they could continue playing. But when the first Lan games got released a new level of cheater emerged. They would use known exploits they read about or found in a game with other human players. That would then build animosity because it took away from the real process of playing the game. As games developed and progressed to internet play the cheating grew with it. Initially it was god mode cheats etc, but then it changed to more subtle forms of cheating making reloads faster or increasing movement speed. Things that if you were not specifically looking for it you would miss.

Now I will admit to using cheat codes in single player offline games I get stuck in, or am beta testing to get to specific locations to find flaws. But to use these codes or tweaks on an online match where other people can be affected or slant the gameplay in your favor unfairly is a sad state of affairs. I have run across hundreds of cheaters over my years of playing. They came in all types of forms. We would have fun hunting them down and banning them or making their online life hell. But it got old after a few years. Lost its fun when there seemed to be more and more of them in each new game release.

Once Punkbuster and other programs came out to detect specific cheats we saw a glory period of a few months or years where the cheats were not as prevalent. It was fun to play again. But eventualy, as always, cheaters will find a way to exploit things in their favor. They are not better players, or people that have so much skill that cheating is the only way they can have fun. Cheaters are people with a personality issue about losing. Losing to them is to lose face. They are weak willed people that need attention which they get by cheating. How do you combat a weak personality?

As technology expands cheating will become more difficult and as the programmers learn how the cheaters work they will be able to code more into the application to limit them. Will they go away completely , nope, but we can limit them in such a way that running across one in a game will be like finding a rare bird, or seeing bigfoot. At that point gentlemen and ladies I will be at my computer laughing my butt off, because I can say I just saw Elvis.
akamoniker

One of the responses was that “everyone who steals thinks everyone else steals” and the same goes for a cheater.

I disagree

I do not think that thieves think everone else steals…I think they just lie and say they do as a sort of twisted justification because they dont want to admit they suck like schmuk50000. They know its weak and wrong and they want to hide behind that old “but everyone else is doing it”

and now they gave it a “cool” name…
its “modding” now instead of cheating

oh pleeeeassse!

Losers need to cheat cause they do not like to play…they just like to escape the world in which they have nothing of any worth nor an once of self-esteem. Its the only place they can be “somebody” and even then, its a lie.

Sad and pitiful

HEY SCHMUK, HEADS UP: GROW UP AND BE A MAN…TAKE SOME PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A LAME ASS LOSER WANNA BE AND STOP HIDING BEHIND THE FACADE OF “MODDING IS THE NEW WAVE OF GAME PLAY…EVERY WANTS TO OR IS DOING IT”YOUR WRONG AND YOU SUCK.DEAL WITH IT.
joe momma

… man, i LOVE chicken
(hackers can go to hell FTW)
Shana

Cheaters are jealous. They perform subpar and use other ways of fooling people into actually thinking they are good.
docrobot

“Cheaters are people with a personality issue about losing. Losing to them is to lose face. They are weak willed people that need attention which they get by cheating.”

In other words, they act like children who always want things their way…
Kibble

What a knob jockey, if he claims to pwn without cheating then why cheat. I’ll tell you why, its because he has zero skills.
http://www.w00tzgames.com ubu

Ppl like this are the reason that more and more gamers are going back to traditional LAN competition and LAN Center such as http://www.w00tzgames.com/ are helping with this by providing dedicate “cheat free” servers and systems, which require users to log on etc. in hope of curbing the cheater. Another way to stop cheats is to blackball them or have a black list (similar to spammers) that denies them access to game servers and tourney events. If we (server Admins, NET Admins LAN Center owner and operator) crack down on the ease of getting in to our server, hack-asses such as this SCHMUCK will slowly dissipate.
~That
Rage

just this: noobie
asshole_killer

My favorite observation is that in general, the cheaters even suck at cheating. I am a top player in Halo 2 and have be playing pro instead of on live because I cannot play two games in a row without being modded. The sad part is me and/or my team will win half the games against cheaters because the lack skill in the game and in cheating. Mind you all that we do not even cheat when playing cheaters, yet still can win. I feel sorry for them and believe their demented brains be excavated from their retarted bodies and studied.
Uncreated

He’s from Texas, and he enjoys when things are made “funner.” There’s the reason for his cheating ways right there — he’s an idiot.

-
l33t187

guys like him are scrubs….they can beat a noob….they might be considered intermediate maybe….but have simply been frustrated time and time again against even the lowest level leet players….they think each one is cheating…they can’t comprehend that they were born with a lower level of hand eye coordination, AND IT PI$$ES THEM OFF!
ThR3LoadR

Gee.. this guy is a complete f**k-head! I will seriously be surprised if people (especially his friends.. oh wait.. nevermind.. they are probably just as idiotic as he is..) don’t kick the living sh*t out of him.

Who the f**k buys video games, just to cheat in them, whether it be online or offline?! Where the f**k is the challenge in that??

Continue to cheat, F*g boy, we’ll continue to ridicule you..
Dutchy

What a stupid ass and no wonder he’s got no GF that ass****
Sodomski

The girlfriend question is funny because it tells a lot about the guy that wrote the questions…
Ricerckt93

Wow. Love the way he feels that everyone is jealous of him. As he mentioned a couple times. I just have one question for you…..WTF color is the sky in your world, loser?! Yeah, I play BF2,and I and may not be all that good, but I EARNED my shit. You want to own me? Feel free. Come find me (Ricerckt93), we can settle it. Here is some advice, Grow up, let go of mommies tit, and for gods sake get a girl friend!
arDcoR

Listen guyz, you make life hard for yourselves..i have been playing online games for over 4 years, mainly ut2003/2004 and CS:S, if you notice a cheater in the server then do the simple thing and leave!!! join another server or play a different game..moaning about cheaters is never gonna get you anywhere, yes it might make you feel better for venting that anger, but your only gonna get it back the moment a cheater joins you in game eh!!! Cheaters are here to stay until game producers install anti cheat software to their games, and i still dont think that will stop these kinda ppl cheating the system, where theres a will theres a way!!!

Sometimes in UT2004 when a cheater joins we wait to die and just dont respawn, the cheater spends about 5 mins walking around like an idiot on his own then leaves, then the game continues hehe
I’m Another Cheater

Male 33, Married.
I cheat because I lack the skill most modern games require. I also hate wasting my money.
The difference is I have gotten better and I cheat less and less.
I’ve been gaming about 5-6 years now.
Even upto a year ago I couldn’t pass the first level of some basic platform games (I just can’t do multiple jumps with a timer running.), so I bought the Action Replay because without it I wouldn’t have continued playing because paying $30-$50 for a game that I might get to level two on was not worth $15-$25 an hour for entertainment. If I want a poor value for my entertainment money I will go see a crappy movie. I am now at a point where I can play some games 70-80% of the way through which starts to feel worth it too me.

I have personal rules about my “Cheating”.
I don’t do it where it will negatively impact anybody I play with.
I buy mostly Single Player or Coop Games.
I don’t play online.
When playing with others I want to come in as close to 50/50 they win/I win as possible. Or in Coop play sometimes it works out I will take the hits while player two does the shooting and takes the points.

I was very hesitant about buying a XBOX360 without an action replay device but I have gotten good enough that if it is truly a tough spot I ask my nephew to do it for me.

Cheating to the degree described is just stupid and is more about ego than fun.
http://www.kotaku.com/search/eliza/bydate/ E. Gauger

You can’t blame a guy for exploiting the flawed design of a game or hardware it’s being run on.

So if someone takes an opportunity to commit a crime, the ease of the action absolves them of all responsibility?

Sweet! Let all the child rapists out of jail!
shloobalboneya

All cheaters should have their throats slit and their gaping neckholes pissed in.
DH

“All cheaters should have their throats slit and their gaping neckholes pissed in.”

amen