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Home » Culture

The 10 Girliest Video Games EVAR!

Submitted by Rakka on June 26, 2006 – 4:59 pmComments

stawberry shortcake.jpgGirly video games are like girly drinks, pretty cute but embarrassing.

In direct response to Richard’s post about the testosterone fueled “Manliest Video Games” which regarded Arthur’s ” THE 10 MANLIEST VIDEO GAMES OF ALL TIME” post, here’s my list of the Top 10 Girliest Video Games – with much nudging from Shane (heh heh). Can you smell the estrogen? It smells like flowers.

200px-Spiceplaystation.JPG10. Spice World– In this 1998 Playstation game, you play choreographer and manager to the girl power group. If you succeed in properly preparing the girls for the “really big show” (please say that in an Ed Sullivan voice) you can pick their camera angles and watch them perform! Squee!

my little pony.jpg9. My LIttle Pony PC Play Pack– This 2004 Atari release brings Ponyville to the PC! Help the ponies get ready for the Friendship Ball by fixing their hair, clothing and accessories. Teach them a new dance! Did I mention the ponies? This game is extra fun because it’s so pink.

ladybug.png
8. Ladybug– Power pellets are for boys (unless it’s Ms. Pacman) In 1981’s Ladybug the object of the game is to eat dots, hearts and occasionally eat letters that spell words like “special” and “extra”. The skulls are kind of scary though.

bratz-rock-angelz-20050517065743059.jpg7. Bratz Rock AngelzBratz Rock Angelz pwns Spice World because it’s *way* more about the fashion. This PS2 game puts you in the heels of the Bratz girls on their quest to produce their very own fashion magazine. And if that wasn’t enough, you get to cutomize their hair, make-up, and outfits! OMG!

Barbie_Title_Screen.png6. Barbie– Some people might say that Barbie Horse Adventure is girlier. To that I give a resounding “nuh-uh!”. True, the horse adventure has horses and that’s really girly but in the 1991 Barbie game you get to hang out at the mall, the center of the mall, the beach, the soda shop and you can request help from animals. Who probably could wear clothes if you made them.
kitty.gif
5. Hello Kitty Roller Rescue– Hello Kitty is cute. She also wears a lot of pink. In HK Roller Rescue you get to skate around with a magic wand zapping geometric bad guys. If you do a good job, you are rewarded with outfits and photos of your friends. Plus you get to power up by eating slices of cake. Did you hear that? Cake! So much for my diet.

stawberry shortcake.jpg 4. Strawberry Shortcake Summertime– Speaking of edible powerups, Strawberry Shortcake Summetime offers them in many flavors like Apple Dash, Blueberry Bomb and Strawberry Steppers. That alone makes this game sufficently girly but there’s more! You can keep track of what you’ve done on your “To Do” list and attempt to get first place in the Strawberryland Bakeoff. Mulitasking and baking! If only there was an option to change outfits this game would be perfect!

lizzie.jpg
3. Lizzie McGuire — This 2003 GBA release gets extra bonus points for not only being a game but for also helping you to plan your next party! Seriously, without Lizzie’s help, how would you EVER have come up with Charades? Gold stars and smiley faces for turning my GBA into a mini diary where I can keep track of my friend’s contact info and my horoscope and biorhythms!
disneys-thats-so-raven-2-supernatural-style-20050519062621613.jpg

2. That’s So Raven 2: Supernatural Style– Have you noticed that a lot of girly games are for portables? That’s So Raven 2 is another Disney GBA game but unlike its sister Lizzie McGuire it focuses more on psychic abilites and fashion than, say, a cyclical biological process. In this game, Raven, must use her psychic powers to get her friends and family out of sticky situations. Did I mention that she also has to collect accesories along the way to complete her fashion line? And also learn how to use a camera so she can sharpen those paparazzi skills. Oh, Raven! That’s so *her*!

ghost recon.jpg
1. Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter– Any game that the Frag Dolls can kick your ass at counts in my book.

  • ravran2
    WHat? Can't believe it! Where was Male Invaders? The game where girlie types get to shoot all those nasty things that me do, you know, sport, cars, toilet seat left up ...

    The address is something like myinvaders.com

    R
  • Eric
    Hey man just because your a fagg and dont like that game doesnt mean that you can name it girliest game and i could own the faggdolls at that game its meant for one species... thats right man not women but they're welcome to play if they want
  • klinofdoom
    GRAW was pretty terrible. But there's no doubt: just because a girl is lucky enough to beat a guy at a game, it doesn't mean it's a girly game. GRAW is definitely a game for men, not girls (no matter what the Frag Dolls want to say, or any other woman for that matter - btw, the Frag Dolls BLOW). The rest of those choices are definitely games for girls though. Would have made more sense if you put Bejeweled at the top of the list, seeing as how I see women all the time playing this game and nothing else.
  • This one makes sence "One's first step in wisdom is to kuesstion everything - and one's last is to come to terms with everything."
  • Haha, that was great! ;D
  • walther
    women who play FPS are seriously hot. too bad GRAW blows *shrug*
  • Anonymous
    omfg, ghost recon in top 1, how silly it's ??
  • Anonymous
    I find that Barbie games are very funny for little girl. I saw many smiles on their faces while they were playing with Barbie. This is not a blog for men or boys.
  • This list is severely lacking in Super Princess Peach for the Nintendo DS. What other game can you win by crying?
  • rakka
    thanks so much, gigi! :D!

    always glad to help someone procrastinate! haha!
  • Gigi417
    I have never had so much fun procrastinating on homework as I am having right now. Both sides of the 'Top Ten' were absolutely hilarious. I felt the 'manly list' was entirely perfect from top to bottom (coming from many lonely nights due to a boyfriend who loves every one of those games - and I don't blame him) and your 'girly' list was the perfect comeback.

    Thanks for the laughs!
  • rakka
    you should totally play barbie games if you want, katie! :D!
  • Katie Collins
    hey whats up I really want to play Barbie games com. im only ten years old sothats everythng
  • rakka
    thanks, lauren!

    i'll have to play anwl since i haven't yet! i believe you when you say you know what you're talking about! ;D
  • Lauren
    This is a great list of girly games and bratz rock angelz is one of m fav games evah but one game that should definitly be on here is Harvest Moon: Another Wonderful Life. If you have played Harvest moom: A wonderful Life, then you know that these games are awesome. ANWL(Another Wonderful Life) Is the womans equivalent to AWL(A Wonderful Life). Both are when you take over a farm but one you're a girl who finds love,a family, and happieness, and the other is about a boy who finds love, a family, and happieness. Get the picture? If you make another you HAVE to add ANWL!!!!!!!!!!!! And trust me, I know what i'm talking about.

    -Lauren, age 13, California
  • pigtails are cute on guys, anony! :D!

    (i just think games are games. if they're fun to play, they're for everyone, you know?)

    oh! and thanks, nealson lewison! maybe "animal crossing" is manly because of...uh...no, i've got nothing. hahah! (in truth, i know lots of guys that play ac. they just don't admit it publically.)
  • Anonymous
    WTC?!?!? Ghost recon was rated "m", also it was in the top 10 games of 2005 and '06. If that's a girly game because of frag dolls, then I'd better stop playing Halo, or maybe i'll grow pigtails.
  • nealson lewison
    Rakka great list and i love the way you handled the haters of your article.... great stuff... but did anyone notice that animal crossing was a honorable mention for manliest games? wtf? (i am a man and i play Animal crossing for ds) but not very manly at all... lol great list for gurls tho
  • haha! thanks, charles! i'm glad it makes you laugh! :D!

    hey, kaori! no need to worry about the double post. i don't think that there are many of us that DID play those games! haha! i agree with you on all of your game choices esp the "jak and daxter" series! :D!

    er, sims is more like a horror game the way i play it... *sounds of crickets* *cough* (haha)

    the one major affect that writing this had on me was that i had spice girls songs stuck in my head! *laughing!*
  • Kaori
    Zelda also owned. ^_^ Kaori sorry for double post. Jak I, II, III, X, and Daxter are good. I play the sims as well that could be considered a vertual doll house.
  • Kaori
    Oh boy... i dont even play half these games i play rpg style like gta. O_o; and im a girl as well... ^_^ but Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter Is good... o_o; yep. AND WHATS UP WITH SPICE GIRLS omg like so ninties. but ninties music was awesome. *misses the ninties*
  • Charles in Charge
    Haha, I'm just posting to say it amuses me how Rakka deals with classic contentious internet a-holes who keep making "threats" towards the frag dolls.

    Cheers.
  • hooray! :D!
  • gamertag: aneurysm13
    frag dolls are no match for me! i totally pwn them
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