The 10 Girliest Video Games EVAR!

By Rakka | June 26, 2006

Girly video games are like girly drinks, pretty cute but embarrassing.

In direct response to Richard’s post about the testosterone fueled “Manliest Video Games” which regarded Arthur’s ” THE 10 MANLIEST VIDEO GAMES OF ALL TIME” post, here’s my list of the Top 10 Girliest Video Games – with much nudging from Shane (heh heh). Can you smell the estrogen? It smells like flowers.

10. Spice World– In this 1998 Playstation game, you play choreographer and manager to the girl power group. If you succeed in properly preparing the girls for the “really big show” (please say that in an Ed Sullivan voice) you can pick their camera angles and watch them perform! Squee!

9. My LIttle Pony PC Play Pack– This 2004 Atari release brings Ponyville to the PC! Help the ponies get ready for the Friendship Ball by fixing their hair, clothing and accessories. Teach them a new dance! Did I mention the ponies? This game is extra fun because it’s so pink.

8. Ladybug– Power pellets are for boys (unless it’s Ms. Pacman) In 1981’s Ladybug the object of the game is to eat dots, hearts and occasionally eat letters that spell words like “special” and “extra”. The skulls are kind of scary though.

7. Bratz Rock Angelz– Bratz Rock Angelz pwns Spice World because it’s *way* more about the fashion. This PS2 game puts you in the heels of the Bratz girls on their quest to produce their very own fashion magazine. And if that wasn’t enough, you get to cutomize their hair, make-up, and outfits! OMG!

6. Barbie– Some people might say that Barbie Horse Adventure is girlier. To that I give a resounding “nuh-uh!”. True, the horse adventure has horses and that’s really girly but in the 1991 Barbie game you get to hang out at the mall, the center of the mall, the beach, the soda shop and you can request help from animals. Who probably could wear clothes if you made them.

5. Hello Kitty Roller Rescue– Hello Kitty is cute. She also wears a lot of pink. In HK Roller Rescue you get to skate around with a magic wand zapping geometric bad guys. If you do a good job, you are rewarded with outfits and photos of your friends. Plus you get to power up by eating slices of cake. Did you hear that? Cake! So much for my diet.

4. Strawberry Shortcake Summertime– Speaking of edible powerups, Strawberry Shortcake Summetime offers them in many flavors like Apple Dash, Blueberry Bomb and Strawberry Steppers. That alone makes this game sufficently girly but there’s more! You can keep track of what you’ve done on your “To Do” list and attempt to get first place in the Strawberryland Bakeoff. Mulitasking and baking! If only there was an option to change outfits this game would be perfect!

3. Lizzie McGuire — This 2003 GBA release gets extra bonus points for not only being a game but for also helping you to plan your next party! Seriously, without Lizzie’s help, how would you EVER have come up with Charades? Gold stars and smiley faces for turning my GBA into a mini diary where I can keep track of my friend’s contact info and my horoscope and biorhythms!

2. That’s So Raven 2: Supernatural Style– Have you noticed that a lot of girly games are for portables? That’s So Raven 2 is another Disney GBA game but unlike its sister Lizzie McGuire it focuses more on psychic abilites and fashion than, say, a cyclical biological process. In this game, Raven, must use her psychic powers to get her friends and family out of sticky situations. Did I mention that she also has to collect accesories along the way to complete her fashion line? And also learn how to use a camera so she can sharpen those paparazzi skills. Oh, Raven! That’s so *her*!

1. Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter– Any game that the Frag Dolls can kick your ass at counts in my book.